Sorry for the lack of updates - I ended up using the autofs solution, it didn’t work for NFS but worked for SMB. There was someone else with the exact same issue as me after upgrading to MacOS Ventura.
Also found this on the known issue with MacOS Ventura Kernel/NFS:
https://discussions.apple.com/thread/254487367?answerId=258389586022#258389586022
Workarounds for specific issues
The kernel of macOS Ventura may cause NFS communication problems with third-party operating systems if the buffer size is greater than 64 KiB: When macOS 13 or later tries to send data to NFS software of a different operating system type (especially Unix systems with “System V”-like behavior), the network connection may fail if a buffer size greater than 65,536 bytes is negotiated in send direction of macOS. This can affect both server and client features. Access on the client side stops responding, or experiences severe performance problems.
Workaround: This is a known issue with the kernel of macOS 13 or later. As a workaround, limit the NFS buffer on the client side for communication in direction to the non-macOS system to 65,536 bytes. For example, if macOS is used as a server, add the option “rsize=65536” to the mount command of the client. If macOS is used as a client, add “wsize=65536” to its mount command. The latter is equivalent to establishing the additional option Client Tuning > Write buffer size: 65536 in NFS Manager, either for the client, for each affected mount, or for each affected automount.